My friend, Stephanie, was visiting the other day, enjoying a quiet cup of coffee together. She commented that she has learned something important about herself. She noticed that she is a better friend to other people than she is to herself. When she is overwhelmed with too many tasks and has to disappoint someone about something, she always chooses to disappoint herself.
Stephanie is pretty normal this way. Many of us choose to disappoint ourselves instead of feeling that we must explain to someone else. We feel that we will be more understanding about the disappointment since we understand the reason so well. Unfortunately, we don’t feel that way. Instead, we feel disappointed about both the disappointment itself and disappointed that we didn’t support ourselves.
Stephanie realized that she deserves to support herself first. She can be her own best friend. Stephanie commented on watching a video by Angel V. Shannon about disappointment that helped her understand this concept better:
Stephanie realized that she was willing to disappoint herself instead of others because it was easier. However, she was justifiably angry with herself for failing to be her best friend! She wasn’t prioritizing her own needs first. Stephanie realized that she must speak for herself; nobody else could.
Since realizing that she has the right – and the need – to put her needs first, Stephanie is happier. She no longer feels overwhelmed by other people’s demands. You, too, can learn this simple lesson.
Who do I want to disappoint today?